July 16, 2011, Saturday

Hmm.... Everyone is saying so easily that they want to die. Most of them always say that when they're tired beyond words of their life and they just want to give up.
I feel like that almost everyday, though it lasts only for a few minutes. I have to have the ability to control my thoughts and therefore, my feelings.Sometimes I just sit in a corner and wonder what is the world like without me. Will anyone care? Will anyone shed a tear for me? I'm afraid that when one day, when I'm not in the world anymore, all my friends will forget me. That's why now, while I still have the time, I want to be the best I could be, make more memories, I want to imprint them into my mind, those happy moments, the sound of laughter of my friends, those carefree days.... I want them to last a little longer... I don't want to face the cruel realities of the world because then we will all have to change. The carefree and joyous side of us will be buried deep into our hearts and slowly disappear, I really don't want that to happen.... I don't want to lose my true self... My freedom, my wings...
But then, Now is the present, sure, I'll have to worry about the future, but I'll still continue to create happy memories to remember with my friends when we grow older. I'm sure that we will continue to be happy even in the future... Though we might frown or worry too much...but I hope that we will never lose that joyous smile of our youth...
Still.... no one ever knows how our own life will be or when we will die, except God. That's why we have to live our life to the fullest and do the best we can with our life.
Sigh..... How can something that starts negative in the beginning evolves into something positive in the end?
The power of words is really very hard to learn and control...
All the same, I'll have to start my studies soon.... But not today... I guess I'm still a little lazy.... Haha.... ^^